#TeamBrendaJOY

Sunday, February 22, 2015

When my grandmother named my mother, Brenda Joy,
I'm sure she couldn't fathom how literal that name would be. 

My mother has taught me so much in my 31 years...be kind...share...do good...strive to be the best you can be.  Of the countless values and lessons she's instilled in me, one that always stands out is that everyone has a purpose....a gift to be shared.  I was (and still am) very competitive, a trait I assure you I did not get from my mother.  Throughout childhood, she's always reminded me that everyone has something to contribute to this world and winning isn't everything...it's how you play the game that matters most. For my mother, her purpose, her gift was, and still is, motherhood.  She's made a career of it.  Giving up so much for me and my three brothers, dedicating her life work to raising us, teaching us, loving us and showing through example the true meaning of unconditional love, giving to others and being a nice person.  She also shared her gift with many other children, being a preschool teacher and volunteering for endless positions in which children benefited.  She's never once seeked the spotlight.  In fact, I bet she's cringing a bit reading this.    She's a quiet warrior, always the first to secretly volunteer.  She may not be the leader on a project, but I guarantee you she's been the driving force behind it.  All without ever wanting any recognition.

She raised us in the church, evenings were spent as a family around the dinner table and weekends were spent playing outside, going on adventures and perfecting sports and hobbies.  Our home was (and still is) a happy one.  We've had our fair shares of struggles, but my mom always ensured our life was lived glass half full.  She taught us to live within our means, never want for more and to be thankful everyday for all the things you have.

Often she's mistaken for my sister, she's beautiful, she's young and I can only be so flattered for people to assume our similar looks are due to sisterhood.

She's taught me the value of of always being on time, early actually...I'm still working on that one, sorry mom.

She's taught me the value of hard work.

She's taught me to say please and thank you...and say thank you again.

She's taught me to be welcoming to everyone and never exclude anyone.

She's taught me to get back up when you fall down, and to help others back up when they've fall down.

She's taught me to be myself.

She's taught me that creativity is worth more than currency can buy and by thinking outside the box, you can get exactly the life you strive to have.

She's one of the good guys.  And I think we all know how few and far between those people are these days.

Throughout my life, I've watched as people approach her to share personal stories, battles and victories.  She's a listener by nature and a nurturer by instinct.

To say I'm blessed to have her as a mother is an understatement.  I know how lucky I am to have her for my mother.  

When I was pregnant, everyone had advice and wisdom to share about parenthood.  Of everything I was told nothing was more accurate than this statement:
No one will love your children more than you...no one except for your mother.

Watching my mom become a grandmother has been one of life's greatest gifts.
This is what she was made to do...
Babies!  Care, love, nurture...babies!

As friends and colleagues have hired doulas and nannies and experts in childcare for their kids, I've all too smugly known that the only 'expert' I've needed was a phone call and short car ride away.  Diaper Rash?  No problem, I'll call my mom.  How to get them to sleep through the night?  No problem, I'll call my mom.  She's continually reminding me that I don't have to be perfect to be a perfect mom. 

The past four months would not have been so easy had it not been for my mother.  Her knowledge, her support...it's too much to put into words.  A girl couldn't wish for a better role model, friend and confidant.  She's been there for the good, the bad and the ugly.  She's seen me ugly cry one too many times.  And I'm lucky to say I've never been made to feel judged by her.

We share a passion for antiquing, crafts and home decor.

She laughs at my jokes, and whether she admits it or not, she's hands down one of the funniest people I know.

This blog was started because of her never ending support and encouragement.  

She's kind, she's thoughtful, she spreads joy.

The first day my life changed completely was the day the twins were born...
The second was the day I found out my mom had cancer.

My mom was recently diagnosed with Stage IV Colon Cancer.

I still can't say (or type) those words without tears, but before you go and get silent and all, oh my gosh that's awful and I'm so sorry for you...

know this...

She's strong, she's brave, she's a fighter.

She's going to fight this thing to get back to her joy filled journey that is her life.

Besides the cancer, she's super healthy and she's young.  For those of you asking, What's colon cancer?!
Don't feel bad...until recently, I myself did not know that your colon is part of your large intestine, let alone details about this ugly disease.  Unfortunately, I'm now a self-educated expert on the subject.  My mom does not fit the mold (shall we say) for colon cancer.  She's lived a healthy lifestyle, she got screened at the recommended age and there's no known family history.

So...what can you say or do?!

Prayers...thoughts...well-wishes...and spread joy!
Whatever your beliefs, good vibes her way would mean so much to me and my family!

#TeamBrendaJoy


Mom, I love you...
I love you more...
I love you most!

xoxo,
Shell




28 comments :

  1. Sending love and prayers your way!!

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  2. Praying for healing, wisdom for her doctors, excellence in every aspect of her medical care and the grace, peace and comfort of Almighty God.

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  3. I know you're going to laugh at this.....but I just cried my eyes out like a baby! This was so beautifully written Michelle! I only wish the best for you and your family :)

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    1. No laughing here...but I will give you extra credit if it happened to be an epic ugly baby cry face...I've got twins, I know what that looks like ~ hehe! Thanks for the support friend!!

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  4. You will be your Mom's solid strength. Praying for you both.

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  5. I'm now on Team Brenda Joy. You are lucky to have such an awesome mom. Prayers for the family.

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  6. Your Mom IS beautiful! I'm so touched by your words in her honor- she sounds like a true gem. I'll be praying for you all, for strength, wisdom, and courage. So sorry you all have to face this, Michelle.

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  7. I will pray for strength, healing, and love for you and your family. Stay strong and continue to pray, God has everything under control!

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  8. Dear Michelle~
    When I first started reading your sweet words about your mom - I was hoping my girls thought those words about me, even just a few of the words you wrote would be great. She sounds like such a beautiful woman, someone you would want to be your friend.

    I will pray for her and I will ask my Mom to put her on her pray group list.
    She is beautiful and young and strong, you will be her rock.
    God Bless you and your beautiful family.
    Much love,
    Rose

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  9. Michelle, what a precious tribute to your mom… she’s a lovely person, inside and out! Praying that her diagnosis will only be a bump in the road of life… one of my co-workers received the same news a few years ago and has successfully beaten the odds with lots of love and prayer from his family and friends and a good medical team… we will believe the same for your mom as she makes this journey — not one of her choosing, but surely one that she will travel with grace! You guys are lucky to have one another, and I hope you all can feel the love and hugs from all of us who can’t be there to hug you in person!

    Love you,
    Denise Huffman

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  10. This is a beautiful post about your mom; she will be in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing this with us all.

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  11. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. Just months ago my grandmother beat stage IV pancreatic cancer. Our family will say 100% she beat it because of Prayers and faith. Your mother sounds wonderful and your prayers and faith will see you through. God is good all of the time. I will pray daily for your mother and your family.

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  12. Michelle, this is such a beautiful tribute to your mom. It certainly made me cry. She is so beautiful. As an ICU nurse I see people, good people, diagnosed with horrible things. It doesn't make any sense. I've never seen a miracle but what I do see is people like Brenda Joy, full of love, strength, and passion, stare stage IV cancer in the face and refuse to let it beat them. It is absolutely amazingI hope she knows how many people are rooting for her and believe in her. We love you guys and think about you all the time. Xoxo

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  13. Oh Michelle I've been thinking about your family all day! What a tough challenge but it seems like your mom has an incredible spirit and with you guys around her y'all can do anything! Prayers for all of you! You look so much a like it's wild. Thank you for sharing and you will be in my thoughts!

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  14. Michelle, your mother is one of the most beautiful people, both inside and out, that I have ever known! What a sweet tribute! My thoughts and prayers are with Brenda and with your entire family!

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  15. Michelle,
    It's your cousin, Karen. Please know that I am thinking of you and know all too well what you are going through. Sending you prayers for comfort, peace and strength. Love to you all and to those new babies of yours. Please give your mom and dad my best.

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  16. Sending big prayers and positive wishes y’alls way!

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  17. What a beautiful tribute to your mom! Prayers for her and your family, as well as the medical team caring for her. The love and support and hope your family obviously has will go a long way in fighting this hard, crazy battle. Please keep your readers updated on her prognosis and know that we are thinking of you!

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  18. prayers to you. I too had to become a self educated expert on colon cancer when my father was diagnosed at age 52.

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  19. Sending prayers and grace your way.
    pve

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  20. Beautifully written. Lots of prayers and strength for your family.

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  21. Michelle,
    From your stories and from her obvious influence on you, I've long known what an amazing person your mother is. So sorry to hear this news, I know your family will face it with your characteristic love, strength, determination and yes, joy. Loving thoughts and prayers for all of you.
    Nancy Butler

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  22. I've been thinking about you and your mom ever since I read this a few days ago. This post is such a beautiful tribute to her. Sending loving thoughts your way.

    Kim

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  23. Your mom will be healed ! Amen.

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